Happy New Year M’Loves

I’m not really one for New Year’s resolutions, so you won’t be getting any lists like that here. But when a new year comes, how ever man made it is, you can’t really help but feel like it’s a fresh start, a marker of sorts, for acknowledging the past and looking to the future. This year for me has certainly been up and down, as all years are for everyone, really. I went through depression that felt like it would be the end of me. I had days of complete elation where I felt incredibly lucky to be alive. I learned from a dear friend that to be in a lasting relationship you must choose that person everyday and that sometimes is easy to forget. I met some of the most kind and beautiful people on this planet. I’ve learned new skills that I am proud to have and that I am much too hard on myself. I’ve had moments of feeling like the luckiest person in the world, surrounded by love and moments of hating myself so deeply I wasn’t sure if anyone in this world genuinely liked me. I’ve talked about my feelings and bottled them up. I’ve laid in bed all day watching netflix and got painfully sunburnt swimming in the warm and salty sea. I’ve yelled until it hurt. I’ve laughed until it hurt. I’ve lived the only way I know how. As I do, everyday, of every year.

There are big markers, good and bad, for every year. But years are also made up of small moments and details that weave in and out of the big ones that make up most of our lives. They say you can’t see the forest for the trees, but sometimes acknowledging those trees can help to see the forest for what it is. We are mean’t to do things with our life, but just existing and living is doing something too. It’s okay not to be the best or the worst and it’s okay to have no real plan at all. There is a system and societal structure to this life that can make us feel inadequate and exhausted, but realizing that a slow pace is still a pace, afterall, can be a relief like no other.

As always, thank you guys for being here. I didn’t post near as much as I did in previous years. I’ve written and deleted countless posts for the reason why, but in the end, it probably needs no explanation. I am here now, and that’s all that matters.

I love you all and you enrich my life by just stopping by here. I hope my words and images do the same for you.

-WHAT I WORE-
pant suit: Zara via CS | Blouse: Anne Klein via CS | Jacket: Topshop | Socks c/o Tabbisocks | Shoes: Seychelles

photos by Zach