This past weekend me and some of my best pals headed to Six Mile Lake to spend the weekend at a cottage celebrating Meaghan’s 30th birthday. I had actually been to this cottage two years ago, celebrating another friend’s 30th, so it was kind of strange to be back here and noticing how different and yet the same my life is. We got pretty lucky with some choice weather, and some eerily foggy mornings, that we certainly took full advantage of both mornings we woke there with sunrise canoe rides and a lot of laughs. I’ve decided to split this post into (most likely) three posts so I don’t bombard you with a big ol’ photo dump all at once, but I can’t wait (well obviously I can) to share the rest with you. It has been quite awhile since I posted a photo diary, or really, since I posted photos of anything other than myself. I’m still sticking to my wits that I don’t want to photograph a ton of my personal life like I used to when I first started this blog, but I do want to get back to sharing a bit more of my life, when it’s worth documenting, and the people that fill it with happiness.
*photo of me by Zach Rose and edited by me
Tag: Bichon Frise
Outfit: My Little Sidekick
Having a deaf dog does have it’s share of challenges; it’s far harder to train a deaf dog, eye contact and hand signals are your only form of communication, and being unable to call to them when they are out of sight can be a bit annoying, if not kind of stressful. Honestly, it’s never been that much of a problem in my life. There are not many instances where I wish Gus could hear, the only ones are when we are spending a great deal of time outdoors, he’s off leash and I need to keep on an eye on him in case his nose leads him astray. He’s never been the type of dog to run away off leash – I trust him wholly in that respect – but his sense of smell leads him to wander and that’s when I wish he was able to hear. So naturally, I have never actually done outfit photos on my own with Gus and I. Any time Gus has been featured with me in photos, it’s because someone else has taken them. When I’m taking my own outfit photos, I’m pretty focused on what I’m doing, so having Gus wandering around me off-leash and sniffing his surroundings while my attention is elsewhere seems pretty unsafe for him. But my relationship with Gus has changed quite a bit since his back surgery and since being left to look after him on my own. I bring Gus with me to a lot more places now so he’s never alone for too long and since he’s a bit slower than he used to be because his back legs aren’t in the best shape, I’m less worried about him getting too far ahead of me off leash. Building a bond with a dog can take awhile, I think. Gus and I were bonded pretty quickly, mostly in the sense that he knew I was his person and he wanted to be around me all the time, but it definitely took awhile for Gus to understand what I expected of him and for me to learn his little quirks and what situations he is good or bad in. All this to say, a year ago, I probably wouldn’t have tried to take photos with just Gus and I, but it felt right this time around, and my intuition didn’t steer me wrong. He stuck by me most of the time, and if I did notice him wandering off it was pretty easy to catch up to him and bring him back. I feel lucky to have such a funny and easy going dog. Obviously everyone is biased when it comes to their dog, but I really believe I got pretty damn lucky when this little cloud showed up in my life.
Pinafore: Miss Patina
Blouse & beret: thrifted
Tights: H&M
Shoes: Sylvie and Shimmy
Bow tie: handmade
Outfit: You & I Will Not Be Shaken
Well this last month and half has been a whirlwind! But here I am, sane, and on the other side. I have officially moved into my new apartment, Gus is back and I am beginning to feel like myself again. As lovely as it has been spending so much time with friends and being surrounded by some really amazing humans who have opened their homes and hearts to me, my introverted mind had been yearning for this moment. I am sat here, in my own bed, with Gus sleeping peacefully nearby, burning incense from a sweet soul and I couldn’t feel more right in this space. I remember thinking this moment would come one day – I could always see light at the end of the tunnel, but I never knew how to reach it. Getting here felt like a sequence of painful self-reflection and second guesses and tears and dark spaces coated with my never-ending hopeful nature. I will say, letting go is one of the hardest things to do in life, even when you know deep down it’s right. But you have to allow yourself the time to accept what all the signs and thoughts are whispering (or screaming) your way, and eventually all becomes clear, of that I am certain.
My mother gave me this vintage dress that she made for herself back when she was a teenager. For obvious reasons, it is my favourite dress I own. My mother is an incredibly talented woman, as you can tell, and it warms my heart to have something that she made for herself and so perfectly suits my aesthetic.
This space has been pretty neglected for the last month, but now that my life has some form of normalcy, I’m hoping to get back to my regular posting schedule and be better at responding to all your comments and questions. Please let me know if there is anything you’d love for me to post about. I hope you are all well and happy in life. I feel absolutely positive about all things in my life right now, and I can’t wait to see how life unfolds from here on out. ❤
Dress: vintage handmade by my beautiful mother
A Cloudy Accessory
Gus came back home from his surgery on Sunday, and boy has it been difficult. With back surgery, for the first 4-6 weeks they are not allowed to jump on and off furniture, go on walks longer than 5 minutes, do stairs, he needs strict cage rest when I am not watching, no playing, no sleeping in our bed (that is impossible, so I have taken to sleeping on the couch and him right next to me on a doggy bed)…just no fun what so ever. If you know Gus, you know that’s difficult to control. At 5 yrs, this little guy still seems like a puppy, both in behaviour and appearance. One would think it would be easy to keep him quiet because he would be painful and exhausted from surgery, but that is not the case here (dogs aren’t big babies like humans). Granted, he is on a slew of painkillers, but honestly, aside from his ataxic walking (and the giant Frankenstein incision on his back), you would have no idea he underwent back surgery less than a week ago. I’ve always felt my little cloud is the toughest little Bichon around, one of the very reasons he is so loveable.
All that to say, the little cloud is doing well, but he still walks pretty badly. The neurologist said that should continue to improve, but whether he fully gets back to normal is hard to say. We will be crossing our fingers (and so should you). As you can see, he came with us to take some pictures yesterday because I didn’t want to leave him alone at home. But he always makes any photo better with his adorable manner, so no one is complaining here. And thank you again to everyone who has donated and sent us loving messages. It means so much to me, you have no idea. My GoFundMe page is still up as we haven’t reached the goal, so if you feel at all inclined to help out, your kindness will not go unnoticed.
*photos by Ryan
Trousers: H&M
Blouse: thrifted
Shoes: Seychelles
Purse: vintage via Public Butter
Hair bow: Into The Woods instagram sale
The Cloud Baby
As I mentioned a few times here, my sweet little Gussy has become ataxic, which means he is having a lot of trouble controlling his hind legs because of degenerative disc disease, and likely a herniated disc. After meeting with the neurologist, we have come to realize that this will likely be an ongoing issue with Gus for the rest of his life. In the neurologists opinion, if money was not an issue, back surgery would be the best bet for Gus, in terms of pain management and preventive care. Because I cannot afford this surgery, or even the diagnostics to find out if surgery is the correct route for my little cloud, I have set up a GoFundMe page to help raise the money for everything Gus needs. Any donation helps, and if you cannot afford it (which I understand) then please share with someone who may be able to.
Thank you so much to my lovely readers and to everyone who has already donated, left me loving messages and wished Gus well. You are all amazing ❤
okay andie 
