Outfit: You & I Will Not Be Shaken

Larkspur Vintage | Outfit: You & I Will Not Be ShakenLarkspur Vintage | Outfit: You & I Will Not Be ShakenWell this last month and half has been a whirlwind! But here I am, sane, and on the other side. I have officially moved into my new apartment, Gus is back and I am beginning to feel like myself again. As lovely as it has been spending so much time with friends and being surrounded by some really amazing humans who have opened their homes and hearts to me, my introverted mind had been yearning for this moment. I am sat here, in my own bed, with Gus sleeping peacefully nearby, burning incense from a sweet soul and I couldn’t feel more right in this space. I remember thinking this moment would come one day – I could always see light at the end of the tunnel, but I never knew how to reach it. Getting here felt like a sequence of painful self-reflection and second guesses and tears and dark spaces coated with my never-ending hopeful nature. I will say, letting go is one of the hardest things to do in life, even when you know deep down it’s right. But you have to allow yourself the time to accept what all the signs and thoughts are whispering (or screaming) your way, and eventually all becomes clear, of that I am certain.

My mother gave me this vintage dress that she made for herself back when she was a teenager. For obvious reasons, it is my favourite dress I own. My mother is an incredibly talented woman, as you can tell, and it warms my heart to have something that she made for herself and so perfectly suits my aesthetic.

This space has been pretty neglected for the last month, but now that my life has some form of normalcy, I’m hoping to get back to my regular posting schedule and be better at responding to all your comments and questions. Please let me know if there is anything you’d love for me to post about. I hope you are all well and happy in life. I feel absolutely positive about all things in my life right now, and I can’t wait to see how life unfolds from here on out. ❤
Larkspur Vintage | Outfit: You & I Will Not Be ShakenLarkspur Vintage | Outfit: You & I Will Not Be ShakenLarkspur Vintage | Outfit: You & I Will Not Be ShakenLarkspur Vintage | Outfit: You & I Will Not Be ShakenLarkspur Vintage | Outfit: You & I Will Not Be ShakenLarkspur Vintage | Outfit: You & I Will Not Be ShakenLarkspur Vintage | Outfit: You & I Will Not Be ShakenLarkspur Vintage | Outfit: You & I Will Not Be ShakenLarkspur Vintage | Outfit: You & I Will Not Be ShakenDress: vintage handmade by my beautiful mother

A Cloudy Accessory

Larkspur VintageGus came back home from his surgery on Sunday, and boy has it been difficult. With back surgery, for the first 4-6 weeks they are not allowed to jump on and off furniture, go on walks longer than 5 minutes, do stairs, he needs strict cage rest when I am not watching, no playing, no sleeping in our bed (that is impossible, so I have taken to sleeping on the couch and him right next to me on a doggy bed)…just no fun what so ever. If you know Gus, you know that’s difficult to control. At 5 yrs, this little guy still seems like a puppy, both in behaviour and appearance. One would think it would be easy to keep him quiet because he would be painful and exhausted from surgery, but that is not the case here (dogs aren’t big babies like humans). Granted, he is on a slew of painkillers, but honestly, aside from his ataxic walking (and the giant Frankenstein incision on his back), you would have no idea he underwent back surgery less than a week ago. I’ve always felt my little cloud is the toughest little Bichon around, one of the very reasons he is so loveable.

All that to say, the little cloud is doing well, but he still walks pretty badly. The neurologist said that should continue to improve, but whether he fully gets back to normal is hard to say. We will be crossing our fingers (and so should you). As you can see, he came with us to take some pictures yesterday because I didn’t want to leave him alone at home. But he always makes any photo better with his adorable manner, so no one is complaining here. And thank you again to everyone who has donated and sent us loving messages. It means so much to me, you have no idea. My GoFundMe page is still up as we haven’t reached the goal, so if you feel at all inclined to help out, your kindness will not go unnoticed.

*photos by Ryan
Larkspur VintageLarkspur VintageLarkspur VintageLarkspur VintageLarkspur VintageLarkspur VintageLarkspur VintageLarkspur VintageTrousers: H&M
Blouse: thrifted
Shoes: Seychelles
Purse: vintage via Public Butter
Hair bow: Into The Woods instagram sale

The Cloud Baby

As I mentioned a few times here, my sweet little Gussy has become ataxic, which means he is having a lot of trouble controlling his hind legs because of degenerative disc disease, and likely a herniated disc. After meeting with the neurologist, we have come to realize that this will likely be an ongoing issue with Gus for the rest of his life. In the neurologists opinion, if money was not an issue, back surgery would be the best bet for Gus, in terms of pain management and preventive care. Because I cannot afford this surgery, or even the diagnostics to find out if surgery is the correct route for my little cloud, I have set up a GoFundMe page to help raise the money for everything Gus needs. Any donation helps, and if you cannot afford it (which I understand) then please share with someone who may be able to.

Thank you so much to my lovely readers and to everyone who has already donated, left me loving messages and wished Gus well. You are all amazing ❤

Donate Here.

Doggy Paddle

Larkspur VintageDays spent at the beach with friends and dogs are always the best of days, even if it’s a less than desirable beach. Although, I will never judge Garbage Beach, it has always been a spot I have enjoyed spending my time…there is nothing to dislike about a secluded beach in Toronto that we can have bonfires at (not legally, but, whatever). So since Meaghan lives just down the road from our fav beachy spot, we headed there on a Sunday to let the dogs have a nice run around and swim, which was definitely not voluntary. All three of them hate swimming, but they needed to be cooled off, so don’t think we are that mean. It was really a nice relaxing afternoon, but now my little Gussy is sick again. If you don’t follow me on instagram (get on that!) then you won’t know yet that Gus is having a rough time. This time he has ataxia. Incase you aren’t familiar with ataxia (I definitely wasn’t), in the simplest terms he has a lack of muscle control in his hind legs during voluntary movements, which means he is unable to walk, or hold himself up. It’s a neurological issue that we are hoping will rectify itself over the next few days or so, but if not, he will likely need surgery. We have to help Gus with everything now. We have to hold his back end up while he eats and drinks, carry him everywhere around the house because he likes being near me at all times and we don’t want him trying to get to me on his own. He needs help outside when doing his business, and it obviously goes without saying he can’t jump on or off anything, so I have to keep a close watch on him so he doesn’t fall off the bed or couch when we are sitting/sleeping. It’s really a nightmare. I don’t mind looking after him in this way (I’d do anything for this dog) but it’s the fact that he has no idea what’s going on that makes me so upset. Imagine spontaneously not being able to move your legs? How absolutely awful would that be?! I’m thankful he is not paralyzed – he still has feeling in his hind legs – but some narrowing in his spine is causing the ataxia. Gah! Poor guy is having such a rough time these days.

Anyways, Please send your well wishes Gus’ way. He’s an amazing little guy that brings a smile to everyones face.

*photos of my by Meaghan
Larkspur VintageLarkspur VintageLarkspur VintageLarkspur VintageLarkspur VintageLarkspur Vintage Larkspur VintageLarkspur VintageLarkspur VintageLarkspur VintageLarkspur VintageDress: Family Affairs

Teddy Bear Picnic

I failed to mention on here (but I did on instagram) that my little Gus has been sick all week. He ended up staying at the vet overnight yesterday because it had been 3 days since he had eaten (and this is a little guy who LOVES food), on top of vomiting and nasty, nasty diarrhea. Up until this morning I was quite concerned and we weren’t entirely sure what was going on…maybe he has pancreatitis, maybe he has a foreign body…it could be any number of things, really. But FINALLY he ate this morning, which was met with a huge sigh of relief from both Ryan and I. After losing Gertie last year, I’m always worried about Gus and his well being. This little guy has been with me for just over 4 years and needless to say, I’m quite attached to the little cloud ❤ So let’s hope he continues to get better and is back to his usual silly self.

These photos are from our last day in Barrie and feel quite fitting for today – just Ryan and I, and our happy little teddy bear.
(see my outfit details here)