As a blogger, sometimes you get sent clothes that are just not what you expected. Actually, I believe that is a general rule for buying any clothes online; it may not fit because you can’t try it on and you don’t get the chance to see or feel the quality beforehand. There have been many times, with both gifted items and ones bought myself, where I just end up selling it or giving it away because it was not what I expected or did not fit. That, however, has never been the case with my Mod Dolly pieces. Their pieces have always been true to size (at least, for me), the quality is fantastic, especially for an independent label and they are totally practical items to have in my closet. The thing about my Mod Dolly pieces is that I can actually live in them. Some of the clothes I have, I worry about them ripping or getting stained, or not being able to stand everyday wear and tear. But my Mod Dolly pieces have never felt that way. Sure, they are adorable and feminine, but they are tough and sturdy and make me feel my best when wearing them. And that’s what I want in clothes. I want them to reflect me, in all ways. Not just in style, but in actual wearability. I want them to be able to withstand my lifestyle. Sure, some clothes are mean’t for special occasions, mean’t for gentle care. Those pieces are special, but they’ll never be as special as the pieces that join me through my whole life; the average and the outstanding, the good and the bad.
Happy Thanksgiving my Canadian Pals
This time last year I was going through a lot of changes – My ex and I broke up, I moved out of our place and I was temporarily living in my friends spare bedroom waiting to move into my new place. While all of that sounds pretty shit, it really wasn’t so bad. There were so many things that felt like a fresh start and a chance to make things better and different for myself. Now I am sat here, after almost a year, on a couch I bought for myself only a few weeks ago (ya, finally!), in an apartment filled with things I love, and I can’t help but feel content. While the bad was right bad, which at times felt insurmountable, I remember believing there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Yes, that over-used, cheese saying, but those were the perfect words for it. I felt trapped for awhile, unsure of what was the right decision, but I knew that on the other side of this mess, that when I did find a way out, there would be a little bit more light each day.
I’m not going to pretend things are all hunky dory (what am I 80?) everyday, because they aren’t, but I have a whole lot to be thankful for everyday. So it’s fitting that today is Canadian Thanksgiving, seems like the right day to be counting the things in my life that are shiny and bright and give me light, each and everyday.
What are you thankful for?
in miss patina
I’ve avoided midi length anything for what feels like ages. I used to absolutely love midi skirts and dresses (any of you that have followed me since the start know this), but at some point minis called to me more and then any time I tried something longer I didn’t like how it looked. So when I decided on this dress I wasn’t really sure how I would feel in it. Aesthetically, and in theory, it’s everything I like in a dress – 70s inspired, a beautiful colour with a fun (matchstick) print, high gathered neckline, pleated voile sleeve cuffs and a flowing skirt – but while it may sound appealing, it doesn’t necessarily mean it will actually be something I am happy and comfortable in. However, I took a chance on it for whatever reason (well actually, for the reasons I listed above) and after twirling about in this fluttery number, I am absolutely sold.
Sometimes shooting can be aggravating and I walk away dissatisfied. Other times it feels fresh and inspired and I walk away feeling like I made something I am proud of. For this set it was the latter. Naturally I can thank myself for that, but I think it’s also due in part to the dress. Clothes often have this magical way of bringing a part of yourself to the surface that sometimes feels tucked away.
Baby’s first denim jacket!
One of the things I love about my day job as a second-hand clothing buyer is having amazing – sometimes one of a kind – clothes fall into my lap, figuratively and quite literally. Take for example this vintage Wrangler denim jacket and page boy hat; two pieces I knew I would like in my closet after seeing others wear similar ones, but pieces I would likely never actively seek out on my own. Thing is, neither of these things are essentials (is anything other than one of something ever essential though?), so they become something left to fate…if I happen upon it one day, certainly I’ll purchase it (as long as it’s not too expensive), but if I don’t, that’s okay. However, I am damn pleased these two came into my life, especially this denim jacket. I love this jacket! Love it. To be honest, I’ve never even owned a denim jacket. I’ve tried on my fair share of them in my life, but I never truly fancied any…until this one. The second I saw this one, before even trying it on, I knew it was what I had been holding out for – the indigo colour, the 70s cut (to the best of my knowledge it is from the 70s), the slightly worn, however sturdy denim…it’s just the best. I hope to be able to carry it with me throughout my life, so it kind of baffles my mind that someone decided to give it away. But as they say…one woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure and whatnot.
-WHAT I WORE-
Jacket: vintage Wrangler (similar) | Top: H&M | Skirt: BDG | Shoes: Nine West | Hat: vintage
I’m going to be pretty honest with you guys and talk about how I’ve been struggling with my body and appearance for awhile now. I bring this up because while I wanted to write about how much I love this gingham set from Mod Dolly, and how lovely I felt while wearing it and biking around on this day…as I look at these images, I feel frustrated with my body and initially didn’t want to share these beautiful images Zach took.
For the better portion of my life I’ve been happy with my weight and physical appearance. To be honest, I’ve been well lucky in my life to never struggle with weight gain or feeling like I was “fat” or hating the body I have. That’s not to say I didn’t have what I feel is normal insecurities as a teen (although, it really shouldn’t be or feel normal) – wishing my breasts were bigger or that I had an hourglass figure…basically just being more physically attractive to the opposite sex (boo!!!), but I never felt like I wanted thinner legs or a flatter stomach or smaller arms…until recently…those thoughts come up a lot now.
Being a dancer from a very young age I’ve spent most of my life, near daily, doing an incredible physical workout that felt like no workout at all. I never even had to think about that stuff because the thing I loved most in the world was also keeping my body fit (well that, and genes). However, more recently I haven’t been dancing as much – there just hasn’t felt like time and through that, from what I can gather, I have gained a little weight. It’s hard for me to know if what I see in the mirror is what others see, or if my mind is seeing and telling me falsities. The thing is, for most of my life I have prided myself on never worrying about calories or weight gain or issues of appearance – somehow seemingly ignored all societal pressures in that respect – and now suddenly I feel like a girl I never wanted to be…suddenly I feel like the girls I felt sorry for (that’s well pretentious, but I’m trying to be honest). I’m doing my best to be healthy about the way I am dealing with these feelings – I’ve been trying to eat healthier, drink a ton of water, bike everywhere and do pilates every other day, which honestly, has been making me feel really great. However, it feels embarrassing to talk about this or admit this, because I know there are girls out there who wished they looked like me, just like there are girls out there that I wished I looked like. But that’s the problem, isn’t it? Wishing we all looked like someone else, or lived the way someone else does, or have what someone else has. I don’t know how to rid ourselves of those behaviours or thoughts. I have no answers for that…there isn’t a workout for those thoughts, now is there?. But I do want you guys to know that however my life or anyones life looks to you, everyone has their shit. No one feels all that together or happy with themselves. For me, it has always felt comforting knowing I am not alone. So I speak about this for you, but also for me. Our world feels so perfectly curated now that when people are just acting like actual humans who are okay with their flaws we think they are pioneers…and that’s sad to me, but it’s also something I absolutely want to be a part of. I’ve obviously got my insecurities, but I want to actively talk about those things because those are things that we can share in. We can’t all share in a perfect home, or landscape, or hair, or wardrobe, but we can share in being humans with feelings, those are inclusive, and those are things that need more air time.
*photos by Zach