Outfit: You & I Will Not Be Shaken

October 19, 2015October 19, 201513 Comments

Well this last month and half has been a whirlwind! But here I am, sane, and on the other side. I have officially moved into my new apartment, Gus is back and I am beginning to feel like myself again. As lovely as it has been spending so much time with friends and being surrounded by some really amazing humans who have opened their homes and hearts to me, my introverted mind had been yearning for this moment. I am sat here, in my own bed, with Gus sleeping peacefully nearby, burning incense from a sweet soul and I couldn’t feel more right in this space. I remember thinking this moment would come one day – I could always see light at the end of the tunnel, but I never knew how to reach it. Getting here felt like a sequence of painful self-reflection and second guesses and tears and dark spaces coated with my never-ending hopeful nature. I will say, letting go is one of the hardest things to do in life, even when you know deep down it’s right. But you have to allow yourself the time to accept what all the signs and thoughts are whispering (or screaming) your way, and eventually all becomes clear, of that I am certain.

My mother gave me this vintage dress that she made for herself back when she was a teenager. For obvious reasons, it is my favourite dress I own. My mother is an incredibly talented woman, as you can tell, and it warms my heart to have something that she made for herself and so perfectly suits my aesthetic.

This space has been pretty neglected for the last month, but now that my life has some form of normalcy, I’m hoping to get back to my regular posting schedule and be better at responding to all your comments and questions. Please let me know if there is anything you’d love for me to post about. I hope you are all well and happy in life. I feel absolutely positive about all things in my life right now, and I can’t wait to see how life unfolds from here on out. ❤
Dress: vintage handmade by my beautiful mother

The Art Of Getting By

September 10, 2015September 10, 20155 Comments

So as I had mentioned in my last post, quite a big change has been going on in my life, and I feel like this space has been suffering because of it. I’ve always felt like I’ve done a pretty good job when it comes to keeping this place updated, even when things are not ideal in my personal life. This blog means a whole to me, and I feel a great deal of guilt whenever I am unable, or feeling not well enough to keep it up to date. You also know I try to be as open about my personal life as reasonably possible here, so it feels appropriate to share what has been going on.

The short of it is Ryan and I have broken up. Something that is disheartening in ways, but was also necessary. Because we live together, things have been a bit all over the place. I have been looking for a new place to live, with very little success, and that has caused me a great deal of stress, which has lead me to try to ignore my current situation and spend as much time with the people that make me feel happy. In a lot of ways, I am feeling better than I have felt in a long time, but also feeling slightly chaotic in my mind. But such is the way with these things. It’s something many experience, and you come out of it, usually in a much better place – I feel very strongly about that.

Relationships can be so difficult, but also incredibly enriching . My friends sometimes joke about the amount of boyfriends I’ve had, and for a long time I felt bad about my inability to keep a relationship going after the 2 year mark. But not everyone is the same. I know people who have been with their partner for years, ready for marriage, and I know an equal amount of people who have fulfilling relationships that don’t last forever. I like to think that every relationship I’ve had has been a lesson for me and something I actively reflect upon. I’ve got to spend years with some incredibly amazing and wonderful people who have changed and bettered my life in so many ways. They may not have been it for me, but they were something for me that I will always feel positively about. I like thinking that I carry a piece of each of them with me, helping me to become the best possible version of myself. I don’t keep a ton of people surrounding me, but the ones I do are the ones I feel really bring something special to my life, which goes beyond romantic relationships.

Anyways, that’s the gist of it. I know probably some can relate to this, so while talking about it seems maybe like it’s just for me, I think it’s also a feeling many understand, and I always hope when I share my struggles in life, however small or insignificant, that someone can feel a connection or find comfort from it. That’s why I love blogging so much. The connection and the people I reach are the most important thing to me; it’s what keeps me here.

Love you all, and thank you for being patient with me ❤

Break The Cycle

November 18, 20145 Comments

I’m not sure if it’s the weather or some other factor unbeknownst to me, but I’ve been feeling a bit down of late. That down feeling usually manifests into obsessing over some particular thing in my life that I believe needs fixing. In this case, my home. Moving is always a transition, and while it’s been over 1 month, I still don’t feel like everything is as it should be. Our home leaves a lot to be desired – there are many things about the construction and interior of the house that have left me a bit baffled. It’s small things like maybe repainting some cupboards and reorganizing some rooms that could make the whole place better suited to my taste. But the problem I have – and have always had – is I never look at each thing that needs to be tackled as a separate. I look at everything all at once, as a whole, and it makes me feel like there is an endless amount of things that need to be done, and how can little ol’ me do ALL of those things right now?! It’s a horrible way to look at a problem when you need to tackle something. It becomes this cycle of not doing because you are thinking about how much needs doing, and you become so overwhelmed by it that nothing ever comes to fruition. Sheesh, right!? Does anyone else have this problem? Maybe even tips on how to get out of this cycle? At this point I’ve taken to reading Not That Kind of Girl (not the book I’m holding in these pictures, but this one is way prettier – sometimes I buy old books just for their pretty covers), listening to Serial podcast and re-watching the entire series of Buffy the Vampire Slayer just to get my mind off my new-found obsession with wandering around my apartment thinking of all the things I’d love to fix and then wanting to run away from my house because I’ve made myself incredibly overwhelmed.

Anyways, a day in the life, I suppose. I hope you’ve all been having a far more cheerful time, and if you’re not, at the very least, you know you are not alone.

Pinafore: TLO
Blouse: thrifted
Cardigan: thrifted
Tights: Target
Shoes: Sylvie and Shimmy
Bow tie: handmade

Jelly Belly in The Distillery District

June 24, 2013November 11, 2014Leave a comment

How did it become Monday already?! This weekend flew by. Meg has gone off to Catskills, NY with her bff, and I have been stalking her instagram making myself so envious of all the amazing things she is doing and seeing. I’m sure she’ll have plenty of pics to share with us when she is back. Yay!

Now me you ask, well, Matt and I spent most of our Saturday in The Distillery District, seeing Kim’s Convenience, a play one of Matt’s pals from an old show he worked on was acting in. It was SO good! Matt and I kept having to hold back our sentimental tears at pretty much every moment. After that we had some snacks and beers at Mill St. Brew Pub, bought some baked goodies and walked around pretending to be tourists. Sunday I had a busy day of dance. It was Toronto’s Choreographer’s Ball last night, so I was dancing my little heart out on stage with my dance company, A.I.M. Always a fun and inspiring night. And one of the few events where pretty much everyone from the Toronto dance scene shows up to. It’s like a stroll down memory lane sometimes.

This shift dress I’m wearing could be one of my favs. I very much love anything with geometric prints or crazy floral patterns. It does however sometimes make me look like I have a pot belly, but that could also be because I have the most horrifying posture. I’m not sure how I did ballet for 19 years and could still have the posture of a jelly bean.

shift dress; 69 Vintage, blouse/shoes; thifted, socks; UO, sunglasses; Philistine

The Beach

May 6, 2013November 11, 2014Leave a comment

Matt’s parents have gone on a trip for a little while, which means Matt (and sometimes me!) has a beautiful home to runaway to whenever he likes. I’m not sure what it is about his parents home, but I instantly fell in love with it during my first visit.

It’s pretty far east in Toronto, located in the beaches, which makes you feel like you have left the city, and are staying in a sweet little cottage, only maybe not so little. It has a vibe that can only make you feel relaxed and happy (smiles!!!). It is an oasis, and one I always look forward to visiting. You can follow the sun all day, from the porch, to the balcony, to the backyard. It makes waking up in the morning not such a chore, but something to be desired. Gus also really loves it – lots of window ledge perching and peeking and sun bathing. Our very own solar baby Gus.

Their home is also a short walk to the beach and an amazing fenced in dog park, so wee Gus can roam as he pleases. We took a stroll through the ravine yesterday afternoon, and we plan to go there again on my day off this week and take some woodsy barefooted photos. Needless to say, it is much easier on the eyes than my strange neighborhood of Galaxy Donuts and halfway houses…sorry, Parkdale, I do actually love you and don’t plan to leave you.

Oh! And just a reminder about the Montreal Pop-up we are participating in! Any of you MTL’ers or Ottawanians (who don’t mind taking a drive), come visit us and a bunch of other cool people!