Let’s Talk About It

September 9, 20169 Comments

Okay?

I’m going to be pretty honest with you guys and talk about how I’ve been struggling with my body and appearance for awhile now. I bring this up because while I wanted to write about how much I love this gingham set from Mod Dolly, and how lovely I felt while wearing it and biking around on this day…as I look at these images, I feel frustrated with my body and initially didn’t want to share these beautiful images Zach took.

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For the better portion of my life I’ve been happy with my weight and physical appearance. To be honest, I’ve been well lucky in my life to never struggle with weight gain or feeling like I was “fat” or hating the body I have. That’s not to say I didn’t have what I feel is normal insecurities as a teen (although, it really shouldn’t be or feel normal) – wishing my breasts were bigger or that I had an hourglass figure…basically just being more physically attractive to the opposite sex (boo!!!), but I never felt like I wanted thinner legs or a flatter stomach or smaller arms…until recently…those thoughts come up a lot now.

Being a dancer from a very young age I’ve spent most of my life, near daily, doing an incredible physical workout that felt like no workout at all. I never even had to think about that stuff because the thing I loved most in the world was also keeping my body fit (well that, and genes). However, more recently I haven’t been dancing as much – there just hasn’t felt like time and through that, from what I can gather, I have gained a little weight. It’s hard for me to know if what I see in the mirror is what others see, or if my mind is seeing and telling me falsities. The thing is, for most of my life I have prided myself on never worrying about calories or weight gain or issues of appearance – somehow seemingly ignored all societal pressures in that respect – and now suddenly I feel like a girl I never wanted to be…suddenly I feel like the girls I felt sorry for (that’s well pretentious, but I’m trying to be honest). I’m doing my best to be healthy about the way I am dealing with these feelings – I’ve been trying to eat healthier, drink a ton of water, bike everywhere and do pilates every other day, which honestly, has been making me feel really great. However, it feels embarrassing to talk about this or admit this, because I know there are girls out there who wished they looked like me, just like there are girls out there that I wished I looked like. But that’s the problem, isn’t it? Wishing we all looked like someone else, or lived the way someone else does, or have what someone else has. I don’t know how to rid ourselves of those behaviours or thoughts. I have no answers for that…there isn’t a workout for those thoughts, now is there?. But I do want you guys to know that however my life or anyones life looks to you, everyone has their shit. No one feels all that together or happy with themselves. For me, it has always felt comforting knowing I am not alone. So I speak about this for you, but also for me. Our world feels so perfectly curated now that when people are just acting like actual humans who are okay with their flaws we think they are pioneers…and that’s sad to me, but it’s also something I absolutely want to be a part of. I’ve obviously got my insecurities, but I want to actively talk about those things because those are things that we can share in. We can’t all share in a perfect home, or landscape, or hair, or wardrobe, but we can share in being humans with feelings, those are inclusive, and those are things that need more air time.

-WHAT I WORE-
Top & shorts set c/o Mod Dolly | Shoes: Dr. Martens | Hat: vintage via Common Sort | Choker: handmade
Larkspur Vintage | Let's Talk About It

*photos by Zach

Beauty: Styling a 60s does 20s Messy Bob

August 31, 2016August 31, 20164 Comments

Yes, I got a haircut…

I realized I forgot to mention that here! I did share my haircut (that I got a couple weeks ago, actually) on insta and snapchat (pushyspence), but not all of you may follow me there, so it was a bit silly of me not to share it here as well. Better late than never I guess.

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I thought today I would also share with you one of the ways I have been styling my bob. It’s funny, you’d think having short hair would be less maintenance, but actually, it’s been more maintenance, at least for me. I did very little to my long hair each day – I could always just get up and go – but now I have to do something to it or (like my boyfriend lovingly called it) it will look like “mom hair”. Prior to getting this haircut, I had pinned and looked at tons of images of gals with the cut I wanted so I would be able to reference that when styling it myself. Because really, you can ask for a haircut from an image, but you certainly cannot expect it to look that way unless you learn to style it. So this is one of the ways I have been styling it, which is a traditional 60s does 20s bob style, but a bit more messy because sleek hair scares me. Larkspur Vintage | Beauty: Styling a 60s does 20s Bob Pre-style: Because I have pretty straight hair that doesn’t love to do anything (except the opposite of what I want it to do), I have to will it a bit to get that dishevelled look. To make my hair more malleable and tousled looking, I spray some salt water spray (well this one is actually a salt-infusion…whatever that means) evenly throughout my damp or dry hair. Salt water spray just helps to give you that kind of beachy feel and look to your hair. Larkspur Vintage | Beauty: Styling a 60s does 20s Bob Styling: Parts of my hair do actually naturally curl into my face, but other parts don’t, and since I’m not all that good with a round brush/blow dryer combo and since I don’t wash my hair everyday, I’ve been using my flat iron to get my desired look. Sadly, my amazing flat iron that was given to me as a gift like 11 years ago (thanks Mel!) finally bit the dust last week (it was honestly so good! it lasted 11 years for goodness sakes!!), so I went out to the drugstore, doing very little research, and bought the Chi Air Expert – it has been working well so far, but I doubt it will be 11 years working well. Anyways! I seriously digress! Styling! Parting my hair and starting with the bottom layer, I take a section of hair, pull my iron down it and guide it towards my face at the bottom. I do this all around my head, pulling down a new section, until everything looks nice and curled into my face. I still style my fringe this way, so I won’t repeat that here. Tip! Make sure to only start turning your iron toward your face near the bottom, otherwise your going to have much too much of a mushroom look. Unless that’s what you want. It’s your life, of course. Do what you want! Larkspur Vintage | Beauty: Styling a 60s does 20s Bob Finishing touches: At this point my hair is pretty sleek looking (oOoOo scary!) since flat irons have a tendency to make everything look perfecto, which is both a curse and a blessing, really. So from there I’ve been using a matte hair wax (which is Zach’s and I don’t remember the name. Sorry!) or this Fructis matte cream (that is branded as surf hair, which I find annoying, but I still bought it, so you tell me!). I use a little of the wax or cream, rub it into my fingertips to warm it up and then twist parts of the end of my hair with it, tousling it here and there, all throughout my hair (like a Dr. Seuss rhyme, apparently)…this is where you can manipulate your hair the way you want to achieve your desired messy look. Larkspur Vintage | Beauty: Styling a 60s does 20s Bob And, c’est fini! Surprisingly, this doesn’t take all that long. The other way I have been styling my hair (which I will share later) takes a little longer, so I’ve been doing this one more frequently.

Do you have a bob? Tell me the ways you have been styling it! Thinking of getting a bob? Tell me about that too, in the comments below, as always 🙂

Coffee Time

August 29, 2016August 29, 20169 Comments

…Comfort time

Working at Starbucks when I first moved to Toronto 8 years ago is likely the reason coffee became a regular part of my morning routine (or afternoon, if I have a bit of a lie-in), and it’s now rare I go a day without having a cup. I often frequent local cafes – The Abbott, Capital or Boxcar Social – to grab a cup or make some at home (if I’m being honest, Zach usually makes it for me…). Sure, caffeine addiction may be a real thing, but it’s not the adrenaline and general awakeness coffee leaves me with, but the comforting feeling it brings me that keeps me coming back to it.

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And just like coffee is a comfort to me, so is an outfit like this. It’s such a simple one, but this type of outfit always make me feel alright. I’ll be the first to admit (that’s a weird saying. I don’t know that anyone is the first to say anything anymore) that I often have days where I am having trouble putting together an outfit or thinking I am happy with the one I chose and then realizing once I am at work that I just don’t like it. But this type of outfit – button up a line mini, comfy tee/blouse and loafers/oxfords – always brings me a sense of re-assurance and comfort. It’s nice to know what those outfits are for yourself. On days when you are just not feeling it, it’s good to know what to put on that takes little thought and time, and always gives you that ‘alright’ feeling.

What are those outfits for you? Let me know in the comments below!

Paint Splattered

August 3, 20162 Comments

IN MONA

Things have wind down a bit over here, so my goal is to get back on top of this space. In case you didn’t know, July was a busy month for me. I was working full time, rehearsing for a dance show and working on a month long collaboration with Open Wines, so my days were very full and consequently, exhausting. This space got the brunt of it, unfortunately. But I’m back here today with a new outfit post taken by myself (like old times) wearing a 50s inspired paint splattered print dress from Mona, a clothing brand I have shared here before.

I’m going to keep this post short today because I have a full day off today, so I’m hoping to get quite a bit of work done (so ya’ll have content here!) Have a great day my bbs! And let me know what you have been up to!

-WHAT I WORE-
Dress c/o Mona (they are having a summer sale right now!) | Choker: it’s a bra strap! | Sandals: Common Sort
Larkspur Vintage | Paint Splattered

Puddle of Mud

July 28, 2016July 28, 20166 Comments

to jump in

Well, my plan was to photograph an outfit (specifically, a dress I have been meaning to shoot for the last little while), and then it rained, hard. As they say, if you can’t beat em, join em…so join the rain we did. I can’t take much credit for an impromptu shoot like this. It was Zach who convinced me to still take pictures, regardless of rain (embracing it, actually), even if it was not the ones I had planned. I threw this outfit together totally based on the fact that I knew I wouldn’t mind getting these pieces wet (although the rain stopped coming down hard once we were out there, of course) and because what’s better than some bright colours and a little bit of Mexico on a gloomy day?

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This summer has very much been about comfort, breathable pieces, 70s meets 90s, sometimes minimalism and denim…oh my goodness, a lot of denim. I feel as though the amount of denim I have added to my closet and have been wearing is making up for all the years (like my whole life) of never appreciating it. One thing is for certain when it comes to my personality type, when I decide I’m in, I’m all in.

-WHAT I WORE-
Shirt: market in Tulum | Skirt: Common Sort | Shoes: Birkenstock Larkspur Vintage | Puddle of Mud