Someone recently left a comment on my blog, specifically on the post about my relationship ending, essentially saying obviously my relationships fail because it must be so annoying dating a blogger (although left in a much more condescending and shitty way). It was a mean, ill informed comment, obviously, that made me feel a little bad. However, I try not to focus on the negative comments I do get because I get a whole lot more kind and sweet ones that are far more important to me than the few that are mean, but it was an interesting comment, and one I’m sure is not at all uncommon. This is a subject that has come up a few times in my life recently, so I felt like maybe I would say something about it, not because I feel like I need to justify my life to anyone, but because I like talking shit out from time to time and I have this platform to do so, maybe others can relate, maybe some are interested, so why not?
I know myself, so I know the person that I am, and I try to bring as much of that person to my blog as I possibly can, but I know at times maybe I don’t come across as the actual human being that I am. I also make a really huge effort not to document all parts of my life because I don’t want to be the person hanging out with others and asking everyone to take a picture of me, stop what they are doing, or snapping photos of my friends when they don’t want to be photographed, so you miss a whole lot of other parts of my life because I would rather not have my blog bleed that much into my real life. I also am well aware that personal style bloggers come across as narcissistic. I mean, how could we not? Pretty well our entire blogs are made up of our faces, talking about ourselves…for people who don’t really care for that sort of thing, it seems really annoying. So why do I photograph myself? Do I love myself to an unnatural degree? Do I think I’m so important that I need people to pay attention to me? Answering those questions feels totally unnecessary. I will say though, I love what I do. I love photography, I love fashion and I love writing. I love that I have made a space where I can share all those things and a place where I can become better at those things. The opportunities I have had because of this space amaze me and the people I have met has been undeniably the best part of doing this. I think a lot of other bloggers would agree that our blogs are our creative space, and while some may choose themselves as the subject, that shouldn’t diminish the value it has as an art form. It all stems from the idea that showing any sign of liking yourself is a negative thing and those that do should be made to feel bad about it. I love myself, but I love myself the way I love my friends and family, and that should not be the exception but the rule.
I guess the main issue that bothers me most about that statement, or any negative comment directed at someone’s personal choices is the question I always have, which is why does anyone even care? And this goes beyond what I’m talking about here and so much more into any decisions people choose to make in their lives; unless it directly affects your life, why does it bother you? I make an active effort not to judge people, especially when I don’t know them. Everyone, everyday, is just trying to get by. Why not try to make peoples lives easier? Why not treat people exactly how we want to be treated? Trolls are trolls, and maybe that troll doesn’t warrant an entire post, but it is the whole that bothers me rather than the one offhand comment. It’s the idea that one small negative comment could affect a persons entire day when it would be just as easy to say something nice, or heck, just don’t say anything at all. We all have a right to our feelings and opinions, but if something really upsets you, or you feel strongly about the choices someone else is making, maybe walk away from it.
In conclusion, trolls be trolling; what would the internet be without them going hard?
Dress: thrifted Zara
Jacket: vintage via Public Butter
Boots: Samantha Pleet x Wolverine
Bow tie: handmade
I’ve been wearing some form of this outfit quite frequently of late; collared shirt under a pullover, skirt, boots, and always, always this coat. For a long time now I’ve had an affinity to patterned, collared shirts underneath a solid pullover – it’s simple but smart and adds a bit of interest to an otherwise plain outfit, so I always seem to come back to it in the colder months. Aside from loving the combination, I’ve actually just felt quite lazy with dressing lately. It could be that I have grown a bit tired of my wardrobe – it’s been awhile since I have purchased something new – but it could also be due in part to spending about a month and half rotating between only a few outfits, forgetting what clothes I actually own and not exercising my creative mind in that department. Whatever the reason, I’m looking to remedy it. Putting outfits together has always been a passion of mine, since I was a wee one, before I even really understood one could love something like that, so I cannot imagine a life uneffected by clothing. I’ve been feeling a bit of a disconnect between myself and some of my clothes, so I’ve been toying with the idea of starting an insta shop and selling some things I would not be able to sell over etsy (also probably vintage that is long overdue to be listed), and giving the clothes I no longer feel a connection to a new lease on life.
Pullover: gift
okay andie 