Last Wednesday, tragically and unexpectedly my sweet dog, Gertie, passed away. I’ve been avoiding this blog and real life since then because I’m not sure how to move forward. I’ve had numerous posts planned, but it has felt wrong to continue on normally, and especially on here, without acknowledging the pain and the tragedy that has occurred in my life, and I have not felt ready, until now, to say something about it. For anyone who owns a dog, they understand that our dogs are our babies. That’s what Gus is, and what Gertie was to me. My babies. The babies that give me unconditional love each and every day of my life. Both Gus and Gertie were rescues, and I did and do my best to give them a loving, safe life once they are in my care and part of my family. I will spare the details of Gertie’s passing because it’s very personal and has affected both Ryan and I tremendously, and has made accepting this so much harder. Had she been old and had a full life, maybe this would be easier to deal with. But at this point, I feel a tremendous amount of guilt that she didn’t get the long, beautiful life she deserved.
I’ve been lucky up until this point to not have to deal with a loss so great. But it also makes me feel ill equipped to deal with something like this. I miss her so much it often feels impossible to ever feel happy and whole again.
I strongly believe everything happens for a reason in life – to teach us, to help us grow, to bring us together. At this time I am unsure why something so horrible would happen, but maybe with time, things will become clear. What I do know is that you need to cherish the people and animals in your life. To let them know everyday that you love them. To not sweat the small stuff. Life is full of tragedy and sadness, but it’s also full of beauty and if you allow it, love. All my friends and family have been so wonderful through all this, and I feel lucky to have them in my life. I never want to forget how lucky I am. That even though my days feel so terribly dark right now, there is a silver lining.
To quote one of my favourite movies: “The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday, that’s guaranteed.
And I can’t begin to explain that- or the craziness inside myself and everybody else, but guess what? Sunday is my favorite day again. I think of what everyone did for me, and I feel like a very lucky guy.” – Silver Linings Playbook
RIP Gertrude. You are and forever will be, my sweet baby girl.